SNOWBIRDS PRAISE GENERAL ASSEMBLY, PRESCRIPTION DRUGS TO BE FINANCED BY SALE OF SCRAP METAL
Post and Courier photo of Hunley, archeological treasure to be scrapped in order to finance public prescription drug benefits for aging snowbird Baby Boomers.
Local transplants thronged the Lasch Conservatory in a great victory for prescription health care benefits.
Due to a $550 million shortfall in the state budget, pressure was made by OYAG (Old Yankees Advocacy Group) to scrap the Hunley, Lasch Conservatory, bulldoze the site, and build a senior center to be staffed by the SC Council on the Aging.
One antendee was quoted as saying, "Youse guys lost, get over it. I mean, it ain't like its sometin' important, 'ya know, like an affordable condo with amenities that I can afford down here 'cause I elected some outright 'commie doitbags where I's from, 'cause da union told me to vote dat way. Come to 'tink of it, we're voting for da same people down heres, 'cuz I want my bennies. After all...serves youse guys right. Youse built dat ting widdout Union labor, and besides, if it wasn't invented up 'Nort, it don't madder."
Several community activists were also in attendance, with a celebratory air about them. Quashanga Raisinhell, East Side performance artist and community activist, stated "This is a day of victory against racism! After all, we know the CSA was like the NAZI's, and they wanted U-Boats, too. They would have put little black babies inside that thing if they could, but they were so racist that they thought that a black man didn't have the brains to turn a hand crank. So, they got some rednecks from Alabama to do it. You see how well that worked, don't you, white man?"
A field trip from C.E. Williams Middle School was the last group visit to the site, as the attendees thronged the site, and the bulldozers were cranking up. When one teacher was asked about the fate of this artifact from the War Between the States, she said, "War Between the States? Is that like, UGA verus Alabama, or something? I don't know?"
Reporter for this story is Davy Jones, and can be reached at DJones@locker.com
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