OLD RACIST WHITE MAN BLASPHEMES MESSIAH'S DIETY, REFUSES DHIMMITUDE

This round of televised Presidential debates showcased an old racist white guy who blasphemed President Obama's diety, accusing him of failings and mistakes. One bout of accusations...most likely a symptom of alzhiemer's...he accused President Obama of being an associate of social activist William Ayers.

President Obama brushed away the unbeliever's demetia-induced ramblings, and HE spoke! "One hundred percent, John, of your ads, 100 percent of them have been negative," (gold embossed letters added to the article by the publisher).

Outside the lecture hall, where HE was speaking to mere mortals, true Believers were awaiting to see HIM as he triumphantly exited the building to await the swearing in."Slash," a college student who took time from making street meth outside the hall to speak to reporters said, "I mean, who does this old white #$%*&@3 think he is? It isn't like he's going to be President. Obama already is. I know. All of those hours I spent working for ACORN, visiting homeless shelters and heroin alleys to pay people $1.00 or a cigarette to register and vote absentee, dude, I got first hand experience in the matter. After all, my voting for Obama makes me feel good about myself, and the fact I can wallow in my own swill and still be considered a legitimate part of society."

Another follower, a street theatre major who only goes by the name "*!," agreed with Slash. "Yeah. There's got to be a way to spread the wealth in this country, man. Who do these people think they are, making all of this money and not giving it to worthy causes, like street theatre grants? When HE formally becomes President, HE will tell you how much you can make, and from each accoring to his own ability, to each acording to his own need."

A third follower, Mullah Omar, replied, "BWahahahaha! Thirty years of corrupt politicized education in your country did this, we should have saved the money we spent on 9/11! Allah akhbar!"

A spontaneous response form the crowd, a Sister Sunshine, part of the coalition of the aging, stated, "Right on, turban dude! We've been trying to have a real revolution in this country since I started losing my memory on acid in 1968! After nearly 40 years, we finally brought the bourgoise to its knees, man! Stick a fork in the pig's bellies, man! Wild!"

Reporter for this story is V.I.Lenin, and can be reached at VILenin@redsquare.com

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